Dumpster Baby Part 1.

The Story of an Abandoned baby

In 2000 Florida enacted a law called The Safe Haven Law aka “Baby Moses Law.” This was a response to prevent the abandonment of babies. This law was created for parents to leave their babies at a designated Safe Haven facility, anonymously without fear of being prosecuted. The baby had to be unharmed and no older than a week old. One hundred and seventeen babies have been dropped off at these locations since the law was passed. Another forty two babies placed in unsafe locations have been found, only eighteen surviving.

I was born in 1985 this law hadn’t been passed as of yet.

On September 26th 1985 I was born. My birth wasn’t a normal birth. I wasn’t planned or anticipated. My mother wasn’t in labor on her way to the nearest labor and delivery; excited and scared over the arrival of her first baby girl…. No mine was a bit different. My mother was 16 and pregnant in highschool. I’m not exactly sure of all the details but from the little I was told she hid her pregnancy and never had prenatal care. My grandparents didn’t have a clue. While at school that day she went into labor. She made it home where she had me on the bathroom floor of my grandmothers home. She had to be terrified, confused and exhausted (if I can put myself in her shoes) because everything that happened that day was pretty traumatizing.

After giving birth she had to make a choice and the only one that seemed right for her was to get me out before her mother came home from work. I’m not sure if she cried or if she stared at me a while first but she placed me in a grocery bag and took me outside to a trash can located outside of their apartment building. She said it was the only place she could put me to keep me safe until she found a way to her aunts house. Her aunt would then help her break the news to her mother. A trash can isn’t on my list of safe places to leave a baby but to her at that moment it was the safest. We didn’t have a Safe Haven for her to go to. So I stayed in that dumpster for 14 hours before anyone found me. Ironically the next day was garbage day so my grandfather was taking out the trash when he heard a noise. He found me in a bag, covered in ants more than likely hysterical and distraught as hell. I was getting ate up by the ants from what the news article said. They called me ' Baby Doe' . I wasn’t really that big being that I was under weight and premature. I believe those ants are the reason I’m alive because had they not have been feasting on me my grandfather wouldn’t have found me.

I can’t imagine how I felt. Scared, confused, shocked, devastated, angry. My first few hours on earth and I had already experienced the most heart breaking shit you could possibly have to go through in one life. Usually an abandoned baby doesn’t get the bonding necessary after the first few minutes of birth. It’s called the “Golden Hour,” and is critical to the growth and development of a child. It also helps the mother. Besides bonding with her child it helps the new moms physically by helping the uterus to contract and stops her bleeding. The day I suffered so much loss but I’m here to talk about it today.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what happened next after being found in the trash. The police were called, they came along with the ambulance. People were questioned and the news stations arrived. My mom had to admit that she was the one who just had a child and put her in the garbage. I’m sure she was so ashamed and embarrassed. Scared. Maybe disappointed? I know she was charged with child neglect, abandonment and endangerment. I was taken to Holmes Regional Medical Center away from her and away from the darkness I had just experienced. I stayed there for a little while. I’m not sure what my entire condition was but I needed to gain weight and be observed to make sure I didn’t have any medical problems from all of that. They called me Baby Doe for like three weeks one article said until my mom finally named me Keisha.

She had to go through court dates and HRS classes. She wanted to keep me. There had been talks of me either being placed in a foster home or being adopted by a family member. But while she did all that a family took me in until she completed her classes. I don’t know who they were but always wanted to meet them and say thank you. For some reason that’s stuck with me.

After everything I can say 36 years later, I survived. Some of us weren’t so lucky. Even today with Safe Havens and other alternatives babies are still being abandoned by their mothers and some don’t make it.

Earlier this year an 18 year old woman in Mexico was arrested for throwing her baby away in a dumpster. In 2020 a mother was sentenced to 40 years for throwing both her babies away resulting in their deaths. In Madagascar also this year, a mother abandoned her newborn baby in a airport bathroom.

For me when I hear these stories it hurts me, it angers me and it disturbs me. Not only because it happened to me and I am still trying to deal with the aftermath of my birth all these years later but also because I am human and I am a mother. And each time I had one my daughters the overwhelming love I felt as I held them was something I could never ever not want to experience. Putting them in harm was something I vowed to not ever do because that’s a baby, my baby and I am supposed to keep them safe, protect them and love them at all cost. Now I am not perfect nor the best mom.. I’ve made mistake after mistake after mistake. But I couldn’t see myself being that afraid or anything that I would do that to my child. Any child.

Do they ever wonder what kind of psychological trauma the baby will grow up with? Maybe not. Probably didn’t think that far. But I do. Because why not? I know first hand the different disorders you can have from being abandoned. I know how it feels to feel unworthy and unwanted. I know how it feels to be picked on by the neighborhood children once they found out your mother threw you away. But I’ll save all that for next time.

I just want to say this is not to bash my mom or humiliate her for what she did. I love my mother. She did get me back and she raised me all of my child and teen years. When I was a kid she was my hero. She worked hard to make sure we had a roof over our heads. She became a wonderful grandmother to my children and my siblings children. Unfortunately we have grew apart and I feel it’s because of this. There is pain, guilt and shame between us. I haven’t gotten the answers I so desperately needed. And I get it. How do you have that conversation? I’m not too sure but I needed to try for my own well-being and my own healing. Now I’m trying to find another way of doing so without it.

If you are pregnant and feel that you aren’t in the position to care for your unborn child please call 1-866-99BABY1 or Google shbb.org